By Linda Luo

Have you ever wonder who would ever decide to walk up to a random cow and drink from it? That person might as well be a genius, a convincing genius too because they somehow convinced a quarter of the world to join them and drink heifer food every single day. Yep, that white, liquid drink over there that tastes a bit like everything?

Let’s put it in bread. Oh, is your tea too watery? Here you go. Hey neighbour, did you realize if you took milk with water and mix it with sugar, more milk and less water you can make ice cream? Oh my gosh, if we shake it we can make butter! Woah! Look, neighbour, someone just fermented it and now it’s yogurt! Oh, you heated it up and it separated? Wow! Let’s call that cheese and put it on everything!

But wait, are you lactose intolerant like 5.7 billion other people? Well good for you because now we’re introducing alternatives like soy milk, cashew milk and if you’re up for it… cockroach milk!

What Is Cheese In the First Place? 

“[Cheese is] a type of food made from milk, that can be either soft or hard and is usually white or yellow in colour; a particular type of this food.” -Oxford Advanced American Dictionary.

Cheese is one of the glorious blessings in life that can be as simple as milk and live microbial cultures or as complicated as mixing different kinds of milk from different animals to create the perfect combo. Depending on who, where and when you ask, there can be endless ways to categorize cheese. This godly food might as well be a blessing from the goddess of food herself because the discovery of cheese was so mysterious and subtle that historians can’t even trace the general time it accrued. Seemingly, cheese just appeared throughout ancient civilization all of a sudden and by the time civilizations in Europe and the Middle East started recording their history, it was everywhere. Historians believe that milk was stored in sacks made of the stomachs of animals and the enzymes inside eventually coagulated the milk forming cheese. Evidently, cheese was just meant to be.

Milk-Cheese Relationship 

Cheese is usually made when milk is heated up to a temperature that allows the proliferation of certain bacteria to ferment the milk creating the distinct flavour of the cheese. As the pH of the milk drops, protein molecules attract each other and form curdles. For industrial cheese, an enzyme called rennet is added to the milk to speed up the curdling process and after the curdles are left to sit for a specific amount of time (varies from different types of cheese), they are cut up and mushed back together. Take that mush, form it into a shape, let it rot and voila! Cheese. 

What Is Cockroach Milk Anyways? 

Of the numerous types of cockroaches, only the Pacific Beetle Cockroaches give birth instead of laying eggs. These cockroaches produce a sort of fluid from their brood sac that can be thought of as protein crystals. Ever since 2016, when a group of Indian researchers discovered that this protein crystal is one of the most nutritious substances on earth, people have been referring to it as ‘cockroach milk’. Cockroach milk is estimated to have almost five times the amount of calories as regular cow milk. Not only is it a time-release food, but it’s also a complete food which means it contains essentially everything a body needs to maintain itself. If not for the fact that it’ll be a pain to extract enough crystals from a cockroach to fill even a cup, cockroach milk could be everywhere. Oh, and also: it may or may not be poisonous. 

How Cockroach Milk Could Be Made Into Cheese…

Since cockroach milk is only a liquid while the mother is milking, humans would have to collect the milk instead of cutting open the cockroaches and taking their guts. Ideally, if people take this liquid, heat it up and assist specific bacterias to grow in it, the milk should ferment and curdles should be able to form. Taking these curdles, they can then drain it, process it, and eventually make cheese out of it. Mmm… appetizing, right?